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In a Tokyo
hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing
is please not to read notis.
In a Leipzig
elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when
lit up
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors
are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M
daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The
flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are
invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel
across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the
cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are
buried daily except Thursday.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines
leave you nothing to hope for
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a
firms’ own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a
finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s
fashion.
Outside a Hong
Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit
upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry
cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
From a Japanese information booklet: Cooles
and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control
yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When
passenger of foot heave in sign, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he
still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English
well speaking… and Here speeching American.
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A sign posted in Germany’s Black
Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black
forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and
women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for
that purpose.
In a Zurich
hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bathroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used
for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong
Kong dentist: Teeth are extracted by the latest
Methodists.
In a Rome
laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
In a Czech tourist agency: Take
one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would
you like to ride on your own ass?
My favorite -- In a Swiss mountain inn: Special
today - no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman
even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo Bar: Special cocktails for the
ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline
ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all
directions.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: ladies are
requested not have children in the bar.
In the Budapest zoo: Please do
not feed the animals. If you have
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist
in women and other diseases.
From the Soviet
Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts
by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These
were executed over the past two years.
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